Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Pain Saga Continues ...

I've just been reduced to begging. Yesterday I was down to three Extra Strength Vicodins and called the dentist's cell to ask for a refill. He didn't return my call. This morning when I got up I took the second to last one and left a more pointed message. He called an hour later. He said he didn't call because he was out of town and his cell wasn't charged. He was probably out sailing or something. Dentists tend to be people who hate their work and compensate with expensive hobbies.

"Have you ever tried Ibuprofen and Advil," he asked? "I'm reluctant to prescribe more because, you know, it's a controlled substance."

Well, no shit? I sort of lost it.

"You know, I'm 47, and I've dealt with pain before. I know you can take Ibuprofen and Tylenol on top of each other because they work differently, and that's what I was doing before I ever came to see you. It doesn't touch it. I've been trying to make them last by waiting until the pain starts to spread through my jaw and the side of my face. I'm not some drug-seeking addict trying to score. This is serious pain, and I need a refill." My voice was cracking. I was pissed.

He refilled for six more. Hall-lay-fucking-looya! I thought I was going to have to get on the phone to survey my friends for leftovers.

Meanwhile, I can feel the crack on the side of my molar with my finger, and I'm not at all sure the antibiotics are going to do the trick. I probably just need to have the damn thing out, which sucks because the wisdom teeth have been gone for years. It's a big fucking tooth, and I kind of need the thing.

I've noticed that my Adderall makes me grind my teeth sometimes. It's a common side effect. It seems my molar is the first casualty. Like I need this.


Dr. Wes Browning said...

When I was having the pain from the mouth-full of cold-sores last month I went to two ERs. The guy who attended me at the UW ER gave me a liquid oral anesthetic he called "magic mouthwash." The ingredients listed on the bottle are lidocaine, diphenhydramine, and aluminum hydroxide. It says they're mixed in equal amounts by volume. The stuff worked great. It made my speech slur, it was so good. Maybe you can get some. Since it's topical they shouldn't give you an argument about it.

"Uta" Urban said...

Ya need to whack-a-molar and get a nesbit and I'll tell you about some grind stuff later. In the meantime get lidocaine wash - if you can have it on Adderall. Fuck, do you have a primary doc to get you pain meds? I can get you a better doc.