Oi! Again with the mishuggeneh guy on the cross!

There's been talk for a while of evangelical Christians overtaking the military and creating an oppressive environment for those of other faiths. It's a big enough issue that several watchdog organizations, such as the Military Religious Freedom Foundation and Jews on First ("because if Jews don't speak out, they'll think we don't mind"), have formed to challenge the eroding separation of church and state in military institutions.

The Des Moines Register reports that David Miller, an Orthodox Jew who has been hospitalized regularly at the Iowa City Veterans Affairs Medical Center for chronic kidney stones, is now suing for damages because he has been submitted to unrelenting proselytizing by evangelical Christian staff during his stays.

Miller says he often went hungry during his hospitalizations because staff refused to allow him kosher food or to contact his rabbi for assistance. Military chaplains, said Miller, repeatedly attempted to convert him to Christianity while he was in acute pain.

Over the past two years, Miller said, he has been asked over and over by the Iowa City VA medical center's staff within its offices, clinics and wards, "You mean you don't believe that Jesus is the Messiah?" and "Is it just Orthodox Jews who deny Jesus?" He said one staffer told him, "I don't understand; how can you not believe in Jesus; he's the Messiah of the Jews, too, you know."

Amazing. This is one of those instances where reality overtakes satire. I mean, look at the guy! Anyone who tries to convert David Miller to Christianity has clearly crossed the line. This goes beyond issues of church and state and the outrageous spiritual hubris involved to outright anti-Semitism. It's more like, "Look, Jew, worship Jesus!"

Urban Slang Christian Censorship?

I love the Dictionary of Urban Slang. This is a dynamic site where slang terms are submitted and users offer a thumbs up or down to define which definitions most closely resemble popular usage. For example, 2,950 people agreed that "fucktard" is "a contraction of 'fucking retard,'" while 519 disagreed. By Urban Dictionary standards, this is a decisive margin.

1,729 to 1,205 agree that the definition of fucktard is George W. Bush. While this is less of a landslide, the people have nonetheless spoken.

The dictionary includes 41 variations on the word "fuck," including 17 on the fucktard concept alone.

Clearly a major cultural resource. The Urban Dictionary is radical democracy in action. You can watch the language evolve before your very eyes.

Which is why I'm so disappointed to learn that censorship is built into the system.

On March 29th, I made a post to my blog that concluded with a reference to my "Jesus Year." I have a friend who was once a Franciscan friar, and remembered him and his boyfriend telling me that the age of thirty three was a make or break transition year for some people. Apparently there are some rock stars who died at this age and that sort of thing. I'm not sure.

Which is why I turned to the Dictionary of Urban Slang to see if my friend was the only person on the planet who used this term. I was surprised and excited to see that there was no entry. I, Tim Harris, now had an opportunity to add to the urban lexicon.

I googled for examples of usage. There was a blog that said it was when you are 33, and "do your best work, but get crucified for it." Another said it was "a time of transition" when one "ponders what they’re going to do now that they are grown up and can’t party any more." Yet another blog said that "this is the year you're supposed to put some good stuff out there - Karma wise."

Clearly, the concept is a bit up for grabs.

I found this entry on the Double Tongued Dictionary, which I regard as wrong. I then posted my addition to the Urban Slang Dictionary. It read as follows:

The age of 33, at which Jesus is said to have been crucified, is thought by many to be a year of great personal transition.

"I had my Jesus year a while ago, and it totally sucked, but things are better now."

When I didn't hear from the editors about my entry being approved, I checked back and found that this entry was added eleven days later, on April 9th:

The 33rd year of your life. Time to get moving and get things done (maybe).

Next year is my Jesus year, I better stop drinking.

While this is in the ballpark, I think you'll agree that this definition is a bit pale and has slightly different meaning than mine. Nonetheless, I gave it a "thumbs up." But where was my entry?

Well, yesterday, I received notification that "the editors" chose to not publish my submission!

Who are these fucktards?

Apparently, anyone who wants to be. I could sign up to be an editor right now if I wanted to. And then I too could be one of the fucktards who get to vote on whether submissions ever get published, and thereby exercise prior control over the definition of our language.

I mean, I thought the whole point was to put competing usages up for a vote?

Since no explanation was offered, I can only speculate as to what the problem might have been. I choose to believe that I am the victim of a conspiracy; that a bunch of fucktard Christians have decided to exercise majority control over the Urban Dictionary, and make sure nobody talks about Jesus, or anything else, in a way that offends their sanctimonious sensibilities.

This is perhaps the smallest injustice in the history of the planet. But it still pisses me off. Save the Urban Dictionary from Christian fascism.

Go to this online form, choose "Suggestions" from the drop down menu, headline your post "Fuck the Fucktards," and refer them to this post for details. It's our language. Let's defend it.