Sunday, August 19, 2007

Excerpts from the Guest Information Binder

Welcome to day two of postings of no consequence. Look at how the clouds hug the top of that mountain. This is one of those places where the overwhelming bigness of things can be humbling, particularly on a clear night, when the Milky Way looks like it's just over in Forks and the brilliant vastness of the universe imposes its inescapable perspective on the meaning of human existence.

For those of you who care, pictured above, from right to left, are my sneaker, Grandma Bonnie, and Bradley, my five year old nephew.

And now for some fun facts from the Guest Information binder that was in our cabin.

Deep, Clear, Cold
"Lake Crescent, a cold, clear, glacially carved lake, owes its existence to ice. Its azure depths, which plummet to 624 feet, were gouged by huge ice sheets thousands of years ago." Thousands of years ago? Can we have a little more geological precision here? I guess, as American perspectives on history go, "thousands of years ago" is enough to stand in for the concept of a really, really, long time. Anything prior to when we stole the land, which, in geological time, is about when I started typing this sentence, doesn't really matter.

Obligatory Indian Legend
Ancient disagreements between local tribes "escalated into a great battle that lasted three days. The mountain spirit became very upset at the foolish fighting. He hurled a giant boulder down at them, killing all of the warriors." This, of course, was the boulder that dammed things up to form the lake. Here's the interesting thing though. This is another one of those angry, judgmental Gods who get pissed off at the behavior of humanity and wind up doing far more damage than we could have ever managed on our own. Except that now we have nuclear weapons. Shit. Maybe it's time for God to launch a preemptive strike.

Vocabulary Word of the Day: Saponification
In 1937, Lake Crescent Tavern waitress Hallie Illinworth disappeared, but she popped back up in 1940 when a fisherman discovered a body floating on the lake. "The face was unrecognizable, but the female body itself had been preserved by the cold water and had been saponificated (turned into a waxy substance) due to a chemical reaction between the alkali in the water and the fat in the body." Is that cool or what?

They Make It Sound So Fun
"In compliance with President Bush's HealthierUS Initiative, we have charted a convenient walking tour around the Moments in Time Trail and returning to the lodge via the Barnes Creek Trail through the meadow behind the Singer Tavern Cottages. Walking two times around this loop should take approximately thirty minutes, which is what is recommended as the minimum daily activity necessary for fitness maintenance. Improve your fitness, have fun and enjoy the beautiful scenery around Lake Crescent Lodge."

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There's a marvelously bizarre book about a soap-lady like that, and it's for kids! (well, some kids.)

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Ah yes, saponification. Brings back memories. If you ever watched the Beverly Hillbillies, that's what Granny was supposed to be doing stirring her steaming cauldron all the time. That was her making soap from lye rendered pig fat. She was saponifying.

While that show was running I had to "perform" saponification for a high school chemistry experiment. The saponification was the experiment, not my performance of it, but I think it would be interesting to do it the other way. Make 100 high school students saponificate and see what percentage can be heard to say, "When are we going to get to do cool experiments. This reeks."

As for pinning down the last ice age, I see it's believed to have gone on between 70,000 and 10,000 BC, with a peak glaciation on the first Humpday of Toocoldmonth, 18,237 BC, at 2 friggin' AM in the friggin' morning.

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