Monday, February 26, 2007

A Dangerous Asshole

I can't bring myself to write the President's name. Not even in the diminutive form. "Dubya" inspires tedium prior to one's arrival at the second syllable. Even the late, great Molly Ivans' "shrub" has grown trite through sheer overuse. He, like Yahweh, is so overwhelmingly awe-ful, that His name should remain unpronounced for all time.
This is why, whenever this blog refers to the President of the United State, I will refer to his Himness as 4DH. This is shorthand for "Fourth Degree Hemorrhoid," or, clinically speaking, a hemorrhoid that is always outside the anus and cannot be pushed into the anal canal.
This may not be perfect, but it's the best I can do at the moment.
Here's the simple truth that no one in Congress can or will say. 4DH and the oil interests that he and his cronies represent cannot, will not, and won't retreat in Iraq, no matter what. There's too much at stake.
If the US doesn't control oil in the region, someone else will, and chances are, they'll hate us. Unacceptable. If that happens, these enemies are unlikely to continue to buttress the US economy by trading oil in dollars. "Euros, yen, yuan, whatever," they'll say. "Anything but the dollar." This would devalue our over-extended currency, sending the economy into a serious skid. Unacceptable. We'd be forced to rethink the logic of our dying empire and come to terms with the limits of force. Unacceptable. Unthinkable. Over 4DH's dead body. And even that wouldn't help much.
So, what will 4DH do? Escalate. Deepen. Embroil. Get us so entrenched in a regional conflict that the only way out is through.
While Democrats prattle on disingenuously about "Iraqis standing up as we stand down," 4DH and his gang of thugs are playing for keeps, and they have a paradigm that actually makes sense in the real world.
Until we all get blown up, anyway.

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