Officer Friendly

I never know what my Real Change vendor friend Michael is going to say, but I always want to listen.

"I was downtown with my friend Kurt, and he went up to a restaurant window and put his lips and tongue right up to the window and starts licking the glass, and says to the people inside, 'Can I have some food?" and wouldn't you know it, there was a cop right there."

"The thing you need to understand about Kurt is that he hates cops. So I walked up to the cop and said, 'That's my friend Kurt. He's alright. What are you going to do?' And the cop says, 'I'm just watching."

"Then my friend Kurt comes up, and he hates cops. He'll just punch 'em. It gets him in trouble all the time. I don't know why he does it. He just does. And he comes up the the cop, and I'm standing there, and he says, 'What do YOU want,' and he's just standing there like this, up in his face."

Michael demonstrates. His chest is out. His arms are curved downward tensely out to his sides, ending in fists.

"And I'm saying, 'Kurt, be cool. He's just watching.' And the cop says, 'Are you hungry?' And Kurt gets this great big smile." Michael pantomimes, his electric crazy man's grin at full wattage. "And Kurt says, 'Yes.' And the cop goes into the restaurant and comes out with this big meal in a box, and it was amazing. And Kurt just smiled and smiled. And we walked away."